Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm too high and old for this...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
