I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
