shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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