Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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