did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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