is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
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Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
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The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize