Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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