12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
