so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
