he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
