2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
