Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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