he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
