It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize