"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
false alarm, still single
Randomize
