i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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