she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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