wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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