hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
