"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
