I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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