everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
