Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
