just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
