Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
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my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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