in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
