Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Randomize
