Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.