Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
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Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
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I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.