I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices