I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.