Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
did i just pee glitter
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.