I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.