so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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