he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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