i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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