i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize