Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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