hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
