How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
