he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
