I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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