Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
