'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
