There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
