This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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