remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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