Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
