I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
