i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
