Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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