Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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