he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
