So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
