Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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