Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
