I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
