My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
