I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
