Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
