Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
