Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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