I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize