I love having hate sex.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
