i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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