I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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