evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
