I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
