She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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