is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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