My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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