All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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