You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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